I gave up. It was as if theres no more light in my dark and unruly world for my source of wisdom died. I had ran out of reasons to live and to fight. I was left alone with noone to hold on. But then He showed me that it was just a new beginning and hopefully, a better one.
It was already 1am when I decided to sleep but before closing my eyes, I prayed. I asked that he help me get through this, I asked for a way to be happier again. I asked for a light.
The sound of my alarm clock woke me up at exactly five in the morning. The loving face of my mother greeted me with a smile. I forced to strech the muscles in my face and returned a fake smile. She then offered me a breakfast but I refused to eat. I was "not myself" that time and even the most deicious food would not bring my appetite back. She then informed me to prepare my stuff for we'll be leaving early. We were scheduled to got to sandbar and watch dolphins that day. And so, I did. I brought a shades and a phone. I was certainly not in the mood.
And so, there were we, riding a car, making our way to Bais City. Silent music was played, making me feel more depressed than ever. Then just when i knew it, I was already in a pumpboat watching the clear blue sea. I was physically with my family but mentally, I was in another world. I became sadder and sadder every minute that i secretly weep.
“Wow!,” my aunt shouted. I snapped back to reality and found myself surrounded by lots of dolphins. My cousins were so amazed, so was my sister and my mother. I payed attention to their smiles and then i felt “lighter.” Is this the light that I was asking for?
“Whoah!,” my aunt screamed again. and this time, in a more ecxited tone for the dolphins are getting nearer and nearer. And then I switched my attention on the incredible dolphins. They stayed in a single place, all together. They dont swim by themselves but by groups. They jump and dive with accordance. Then, i remembered my friends. The days we spent together. The laughters and all the sleepless nights of chitchatting. The times when we comfort each other. the advices we tell and the secrets we keep. Can this be the answer to my prayer?
At about 3 in the afternoon, we were already offshore. The rain was pouring hard. We then decided to play in the rain. All of us were enjoying the raindrops. I felt the happiness in the air. Everybody was laughing. Then TN sinked in to my mind. The overnights, all the sing-a-longs and the unending jokes.
And that's it! I saw it. I really did. I saw the light that i had prayed for. I saw it on the things I never thought i would.
I realized that on simple, God-made creations, there is happiness. I realized that whether im at the top or at the bottom, my family and friends are with me. And so i could therefore say that there's more to life than a boyfrriend. Thanks to the good GOD, for if not for him, i wouldnt realize that all i have to have to be happy is my family, my friends, and HIS presence. ;))
